Does your wife play fantasy football? I used to enjoy some of my fantasy leagues until my friends decided it would be a good idea to fill vacant spots with their wives. I also think that certain individuals really need to ask themselves why they list both themselves and their spouse as the “owner” of the team when their wife has had no part whatsoever. What the hell is that? I guess it’s a way to justify the money they’re spending to play.

Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind if a football educated woman would like to play in a league and compete. That’s actually refreshing as hell to listen to a female spout off football knowledge like a pro. It’s the ones who demand that they be involved with everything their husband is doing that drive me nuts. Why can’t they enjoy a few moments away? I want to run out the back door when I see my buddies pull up with their significant other for a fantasy draft. The whole object for me is to have fun with friends and debate our selections while enjoying a few beers. Is that too much to ask? Plus, I know my wife would rather shave her head than to just sit around while we drafted. I believe if she ever asked me to come along for a draft there’s a hidden agenda that I have yet to figure out.

I’m sure I’ll receive countless phone calls after this piece hits the net, but I felt that this is a point that needs to be addressed before it gets out of hand. Some of you may be thinking... What the hell is this guy talking about? If you’re asking that question, I want to play in your league before it turns into the “fantasy wives club.”

A clear example of my frustration was at a draft party last August where we had three wives play to fill spots of player’s who left the league. It was a last minute deal and I wasn’t about to argue. Those three women were in their own world. The nine interested participants were sitting around while these women giggled and ignored everything about why they were there. When it was time for them to make a selection, they would read off names from a sheet and almost every time it was a player who had already been picked. Of course that meant that we were all cheating because we have the only player’s they knew. It was an event I will never participate in again.

My wife is not a football oriented woman. She occasionally follows the NFL because of my passion for it. I have no qualms with that at all. It’s actually the way I prefer things to be because she doesn’t pretend to be something she’s not. You would never see her at a fantasy football draft. If your wife is like mine and she wants to go with, you must of done something really stupid/wrong over the summer and now she wants to pay you back. You should just quit your league right then and there. Trust me, it’s better that way.

MJohnson@thenflunderground.com